Author Topic: Sharing skin with the Frog - initial healing experiences + twists and turns  (Read 24319 times)

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Offline Rainfruit

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It's been about a month since I've started to walk a path with the Frog, and here's what I am able to describe in words...



5/29/14  (4, 5, 5 dots)

My first treatment was with a man named Brett, who had been personally recommended to me by Giovanni.  Conveniently, Brett lived just a few hours away from me in Northern California, so I had traveled to Brett's land for an extended weekend for my first few treatments.

Although I felt very comfortable with Brett, overall I was very nervous before my first treatment, remembering everything I had read about feeling awful and intense purging.  I was also nervous about Kambo's effects on the heart - I have never been diagnosed with a heart condition, but I feel that the many years of anorexia, bulimia, and overexercise in my history have put a strain on my heart.  I do also have occasional palpitations.  My fear was of being one of the many few who's heart can not handle the intensity of Kambo.

Before undergoing any shamanic experience, I always set a very clear intention, usually on paper.  My intention for meeting with Kambo was not just physical healing, but healing the roots of my physical ailments in the realm of the heart and spirit.

We decided to start with 4 dots on my outer left calf, about 5 centimeters up from the ankle.  My heart was pounding in anticipation even before the application.  Once the dots were on, I felt a rush of warmth, and the pounding of my heart continued but shifted in quality from that of panic to that of a slightly pleasant exhilaration, as if I were a warrior running full speed through the jungle in full health.

I then had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.  I felt as if the breezes of the Amazon were blowing through the ventricles of my heart and I saw images of the sky through canopies of trees - a window to a realm of eternity.  It was so beautiful, reassuring, and familiar that I began to cry.  Deep within me resonated that self love was the foundation of all my healing, and I felt the pain from living with such self criticism fall away with my tears.

After about 15 minutes, the experience began to subside.  I had experienced not a bit of nausea.  My fear about working with Kambo had evaporated at this point.  Brett and I decided to add another dot and reapply to all dots, doing another total of 5.

This time, I felt another rush of heat and heart pounding, and now waves of very subtle nausea.  The experience was qualitatively physical now.  I sat patiently through 20 minutes, feeling slight waves of nausea and my intestines gurgling, but never felt enough nausea to purge.

So we decided to do a new set of dots, this time on my inner calf, and using a thicker incense stick to make bigger burns.  We did 5.  This time the heat rush was much more intense.  I felt a "rubber band" effect around my head and my heart was pounding very hard, so hard that I got slightly nervous.  Brett said he could hear my heart pounding from a few feet away and so removed one dot.  I did my best to relax and surrender to the experience, consciously asking the medicine to go to work on me in the most complete way.  Immediately, the Kambo responded by shifting from "heat" mode into a "searching" mode through my gut with waves of nausea.  The nausea was much more pronounced this time.  I continued to to pray and surrender as completely as possible.

At this point I had a profound experience of sensing my illness as I never have been able to before, as it fought against the Kambo.  I felt my illness as a small, unhappy and uncomfortable child, complaining about everything.  In normal life the illness had been manifesting mostly physically, but this time I could feel the emotional roots.  The roots were ungratefulness and unwillingness.  I could feel the illness fighting the Kambo, wanting to stay put.

After about 15 minutes of waves, I purged a very small purge - just a splash of clear liquid.  I felt like there were still buckets of toxins to come up - I could feel them sitting in my stomach like a burning weight, but I didn't have enough nausea to get them up.  Still, I felt a tremendous amount of relief from the small purge.  I also had a liquidy bowel movement.

At this point, I had been in the Kambo realm for over an hour and felt too exhausted to do a 4th set of dots.  I felt extremely tired, but good.  I then took a 3 hour nap and woke up feeling very well - bright, energized, and in a good mood.  I felt that something significant had been released from my energetic field.  That night, I slept solidly for many more hours than usual, and woke up at 7am on the dot the next morning (rare for me, as I had been in an unhealthy cycle of sleeping late into the morning for many months).  I woke up with a freshness and clarity that I had not felt in 6 - 8 years or more, which was very exciting.



5/30/14 (6 dots)

We decided to go right into another Kambo application that morning.  This time, we did 6 of the larger size dots on my right inner calf near the ankle.  This time the "rush" part of the experience was a lot shorter, and the medicine seems to shift more quickly into core searching mode.  After about 10 minutes I had three huge purges from the lower stomach in quick succession, so forceful that it came out my nose.  The vomit was a bitter, yellow watery liquid, and very satisfying to release.  After the purges, I felt a wonderful serenity and knew I was finished with this Kambo session.  I felt complete.

I had another amazing sleep that night and from that point on, noticed a shift in my emotional being.  I felt like a window of light had been opened up in my psyche.  I still felt all of my physical symptoms but my heart felt light and optimistic.  More shifts are discussed in detail later on.



6/8/14  (6 dots)

My next session was back at home with the company and support of my roommate.  It was my first session in which I prepared and applied the dots myself - my roommate was there mostly for energetic support.  He is inexperienced with Kambo.  I wanted to be in a clean and clear environment, so we hiked out to a field near the beach and set a blanket out.  I also wanted to take things really easily because I kind of felt like I was on my own, so I decided to play it safe with 6 dots of the smaller size on my inner right calf.

The dose felt light, and I experienced the characteristic physical symptoms of my first few sessions, but like Day 1, did not have enough force to purge properly.  I again ended up purging just a few spoonfuls of watery liquid.  I did, however, have a large liquidy bowel movement in which I felt some toxins leave.

I really wanted to do another application right then and there to go deeper and move more toxins out, but my roommate had to leave so we went home.  I had in mind to maybe do a second application on my own, but upon visiting the bathroom I saw that the Kambo had initiated my menstrual cycle.  Without a question I knew I was done for this round, because a few days prior, I had had a vivid dream in which I was being warned not to take Kambo while bleeding.

I did drink a ton of coconut water, which has the effect of moving my bowels very quickly, and had several more bowel movements that day, each one leaving me feeling lighter and clearer than the last.

Later that day, an unexpectedly huge breakthrough happened, which was that I boldly let go of a toxic friendship.  There is no question that this was related to my shifting vibrational field from the Kambo work.  From this day on, I continued to notice many more positive shifts in my being and in my life.

After this second week, I really started to notice physical healing, and my emotional and spiritual shift advanced even more.  My heart felt light and alive like a room that had the windows opened and a delicate fresh breeze was blowing through.  My laughter came easily in peals of genuine joy.

My quality of sleep continued to be deep, long, and refreshing into the second week.  This was almost a complete reversal from the poor quality of sleep I had been experiencing without exception for years and one of the most exciting shifts that have come about from working with Kambo.

I also began noticing significant improvement in my digestion – bloating after meals almost completely gone.  Nutrition seemed to be coming more into balance – my brain, body, everything seemed to be functioning better.  Chronic fever and dehydration reduced as well, which is a gift as those were some of my most challenging symptoms.  I also dropped anywhere from 5-10 lbs. of either toxic water retention or fat, and I’ve had more physical energy and have been able to do more exercise!  Basically, all of the symptoms I had been suffering from improved enough to notice.  I still feel like I would have to repeat this improvement many times over to I feel the way I did before the health issues started, but this is an amazing start for which I am profoundly grateful.

Also, my seasonal allergy to redwood pollen – which previously had been severe and very disruptive to my life in the months prior, COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED.

Week 2, I also experienced a very distinct shift in my mental/ emotional/psychic health.  I felt increased sensitivity and intuition, better cognitive function, and a much brighter disposition.  My roommate observed that I seemed like a completely different person.  Most profoundly, I felt a much deeper realization of self love, a fundamental shift that affected pretty much every aspect of my being alive.

Along with better digestion, I also experienced other aspects of my navel chakra increasing in health, for those of you oriented to the chakra system.  Aside from letting go of the toxic relationship I mentioned earlier, I felt much more comfortable and clear in my personal boundaries in other relationships, which was an absolutely blissful experience.  Those of you who have had navel chakras issues understand.  With higher integrity in my energetic boundaries, my heart was free to open more fully!



6/17/14 (total 8 dots)

This next session was my first one completely on my own from start to finish, and there were several notable new factors present.  I did the session in the evening after a day of eating some fruit and coconut water instead of first thing in the morning on an empty stomach (water not included) like the other sessions.  I had very mixed feelings during the day on whether I was going to do Kambo with solid food in my system - without getting into all the factors and details, I decided to go ahead and do it, mainly because it was going to be my last chance to do Kambo for at least another week and I reasoned that fruit digests pretty quickly for me.
 
I decided to start out slowly with 3 smaller size dots on my right inner calf.  About 10 minutes in, I felt like I was ready for more, so I added another 2 dots.  To be honest, I forgot how many dots at a time I added again, but in the end I had 8 dots on my skin.  However, I was using a very light preparation of the medicine with a lot of water and saliva.

This session was comparable in intensity to the previous ones, and produced a very interesting purge about 25 minutes in.  It felt like one of the easiest purges I have ever gone through, and almost voluntary on my part.  I was definitely assisting the purge by leaning over and breathing heavily to stimulate my gag reflex - I didn't want to end up re-digesting toxins.  Part of me felt mixed about taking such an active role in the purging, however, a LOT of bitter yellow liquid did come up - the highest volume of any purge so far.  At no point during this session was anything unpleasant besides some very manageable nausea.  Interestingly, inspecting the vomit (which was mostly yellow liquid, I found a tiny bright red glob the size of 1/2 a pea that I have yet to identify.  I thought it might be blood was it was too solid.
It has been about 10 days since that last session, and I have definitely been feeling some strange results.  Most or all of the positive physical shifts have stayed with me – the improved sleep, digestion, weight loss, reduced fever symptoms, etc.  However, there is no question that mentally and emotionally I have been feeling a bit off.  The experience is difficult to describe because I simultaneously feel aware, yet foggy and unclear at the same time.  I feel as Kambo is rearranging my psyche but I am mid-transition and all the pieces are not in the right place yet.

I have had more issues with personal boundaries this week, more issues with time wasting and lethargy, lack of focus, and procrastination.  It took me 4 days to write this post – a task that should only take a day with proper focus.  My heart and head feel stuffy and unclear.  This is the way I often feel a week before my moon cycle, except that it is not that time of the month right now.



Thoughts


Overall, I am surprised at how gentle the Kambo has been with me during the actual sessions, yet how dramatic the results have been.  The nausea and malaise is almost nothing compared to what I have been through with ayahuasca.  Literally, just a fraction.  I was prepared for much more difficulty but have been pleasantly surprised.  Of course, this implies the question - could I be doing much higher doses of Kambo?

But my journey just 4 weeks in has already had its twists and turns - this 3rd and 4th week being on.  I’m not sure whether the funk I experiences this past 10 days has been a natural fluctuation in the healing process (and those I am very familiar with), or results of something I actually caused during the procedures of the 3rd week of Kambo.  Thinking back to that 3rd session – several factors felt off:  doing the Kambo with solid food in my stomach, and also doing it in a setting that didn’t feel quite “sacred” to me.  Where I currently live is in a somewhat crowded neighborhood and the house has a lot of confusing energy.  The house is messy and unorganized and I was very hesitant about opening myself up into a shamanic state here.  In the end I decided to do it and maybe this was a mistake?

I have every intention to continue with Kambo treatments, but I would like to gain some insight on my progress and current state of being before continuing.

If you have read this far, thank you for reading this long post.  I would love to hear any reflections or feedback!  I am so grateful this forum is here - thank you all for being here.

(Also, here is a link to the introduction I posted, in which I explain some background information, for those of you who didn't see it:
http://kambo.me/smf/index.php?topic=381.0 )
« Last Edit: June 25, 2014, 05:03:07 PM by Rainfruit »

Offline Elijah Phoenix

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Wow, thank you for sharing your experiences.  They're profoundly inspiring.

Offline lightswitchedon

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So Rainfruit, you have now been "kissed by kambo"! :P  It is a lovely experience and I am glad your intro to this medicine has been so fulfulling. 

I have been working with shamanic drumming to reach the visionary state over the past few months and have come into raccoon and frog medicine, this was made very clear in the visions.  Frog medicine is cleansing!  Cleansing the energies is what it means to me, although I personally had spent the winter and spring becoming almost a staunch skeptic and materialist denying anything energetic or mental (just plain denial, really) and seeking physical solutions, i.e. diet, nutrition, exercise, supplementation and herbal remedies.  This is weird for me since I have long been senstive to chakras, subtle energies, etc., even to the point of being able to see them in full color spectrum when feeling good and centered.

You said kambo went into "searching mode".  Yes, this is what it does.  When I first experienced this I called it scanning because that is what it felt like.  I could feel the energy moving along a tubular plane extending about 2 feet out from my body and guess what, it was entirely in the navel and plexus region.  These chakras are closed most of the time for me and I have just started working on these issues; it is tough!  Several years ago I woke up one morning and could see into (energetically) and feel that navel region and it was one of the most awful experiences.  Parasites (worms & flukes), yeast overgrowth, imbalances and just sickness from years of drug use, terribly unhealthy eating habits and "stuffing it down" syndrome when it came to emotions.  In essence, I had shut myself off and am just now beginning to get the opportunity to work on this stuff, what a blessing. 

As you said, ungratefullness and unwillingness + a lack of self-love.  These things are definitely at the core when it comes to blocks to healing.  I thought that I was on the path to being clean and healing just coming off drugs/meds a couple yrs back and little did I know what awaited.  I don't know about your case, but it has been shown to me that parasite infestation is incredibly common and I am certainly plagued and have suffered nutritional deficincies, digestive issues and many ailments.  I even lost 20 pounds over 2 months during a stressful time last fall.  For a while, I believed that I needed to physically attack through herbs, zapping, or whatever the cure zone people were saying.  These things can definitely be helpful and necessary, but it is now quite clear that dis-ease manifiested physically is at least due much in part to a not well mind/spirit.  Just remembering that healing does take time is important and seeing that we are among the lucky ones to have been given such wonderful healing tools as kambo, among other things.  It is likely an adjustment in attitude and perspective that is needed and the medicines can certainly facilitate this.

You mentioned that you had seasonal allergies clear up, that's cool.  My allergies to dust mites and cats are completely gone and it may have to do with past kambo cleansing, but I'm not sure.

I also let go of a toxic relationship just a couple months ago and it was incredibly difficult to do.  The mind tried to trick me into feeling guilty about it even though it was absolutely essential to my health and well-being to just cut and run from this person.  With long-standing relationships it can be quite an emotional struggle, but it means growth.  I realized that I was in a codependent relationship and was allowing myself to get sucked dry.  Toxic and taxing, no doubt.  I had to take full responsibility and not blame the other person for anything - then move on.

In reading your experiences there is a lot more that I could say or comment on, but I will save it for my own posts later, after I go through some kambo intensive.  My hope is to cleanse the bowel by releasing / purging the negativity from that region.  I do enemas and use cleansing herbs, but I think kambo can do much to clean out the filth.  The bowel is a major command center of the body and much illness has its roots there.  It is said that around 70% of the immune system is in the gut.  That is of major significance!  Uptight and uneasy people are often said to have "something up their butt".  I want to get that damned something out and be grounded in health and positive energy, God willing.

Best wishes in healing.

Offline lightswitchedon

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and btw I meant to comment on your thoughts.  There have been a few times where the immediate benfits from kambo (increased energy, clarity, overall strength) continued on through the week only to dwindle away.  I think it has been somewhat established that many people must continue with treatments on some schedule or at least longer intensives in the beginning in order to overcome or at least mitigate their maladies, depending on condition and severity.  I do not think more treatments could hurt.

As for the set and setting, yeah I believe it is crucial.  Personally, I go into the forest and find a pretty spot where I can be completely comfortable and at ease and am usually by myself.  I've had my brother apply and asked him to take a hike immediately after application.  Kambo is it's own facilitator and creates its own sacred space imo, but I need to be at ease for maximum receptivity and there is no better place than out in the woods on a beautiful day with the feeling of having space to oneself.  I have never felt as in tune and at one with the natural world as I've been during/after a good kambo experience.

Offline caiano

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in the woods, eh !?
Good !  Then don't forget the hammock  ;)

Offline Rainfruit

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Thank you so much for your reply, lightswitchedon.  It really means a lot to me that this community is here and thanks for reading.

I'm glad you relate to how important the navel chakra is and the different manifestations of its imbalance.  I too had various kinds of parasites and infections - worms, candida, h.pylori, etc, and did many rounds of physical cleansing.  I feel I've gotten a lot of it out, but however, after working with Kambo I feel like all the physical-only approaches can potentially be useless if the deep psyche is not being accessed in the way that Kambo does.  Because parasites are ultimately attracted or repelled by energetic states.  And I totally relate to your statement about coming off drugs and thinking you were clean and healed, if I read that right.  I also felt like I was at the finish line when I healed from the eating disorder and little did I know, that was just the preliminary work the healing work I am doing now!

I am travelling right now and have limited time to reply, but will respond with more later.  Thanks again for everything you shared.

Also, on my situation, I have thinking and I feel like whatever is happening with me, the answer is to take more Kambo.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 03:35:07 AM by Rainfruit »

Offline lightswitchedon

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I feel I've gotten a lot of it out, but however, after working with Kambo I feel like all the physical-only approaches can potentially be useless if the deep psyche is not being accessed in the way that Kambo does.  Because parasites are ultimately attracted or repelled by energetic states. 

Also, on my situation, I have thinking and I feel like whatever is happening with me, the answer is to take more Kambo.

agreed, agreed and agreed.  taking kambo yesterday evening I believe starts me on a new journey of confidently addressing whatever needs to be addressed in order to heal, on every level.  I felt great for the hour or so afterward, but started a nasty herx that lasted through the night.  Feeling better this morning though.

Offline Rainfruit

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Just did another 5/6 dot session three days ago.  I feel like I'm ready to up to number of dots, but I've been hesitant to push my threshold while either doing the session alone or being in a less-than-ideal setting like what's been available lately.  I corresponded with Giovanni and he encouraged me to continue doing 2-3 sessions a month, slowing increasing the dots, so I'll just have to find good sitters.

I am experiencing a LOT of fluctuation in my symptoms over the last 3 weeks.  After my most recent session, I felt a temporary boost of energy/wellbeing for about a day, but over the past two days I have definitely swung the opposite direction.  Along with feeling like an emotional wreck - low stress tolerance, crying episodes, snapping at people - my physical symptoms have reappeared with vengeance.  I feel highstrung and unable to sleep, the fever and water retention and all other symptoms have come back.

Is this normal?  (lightswitchedon, is this what you call a "herx" reaction?)  My greatest fear along this journey is that the Kambo will not work for me, and it would really reassu2ring to hear that this is possibly a normal reaction to the treatments.  The fear and mental anguish over the possibility that Kambo is not working (given by the number of healing approaches I've tried and my exhaustion at this stage of the journey) is probably causing as much suffering than the symptoms themselves.

I am familiar with healing fluctuations - during my time working with ayahuasca, I was constantly on a rollercoaster ride from the waves of change rocking my life.  After my first ayahuasca ceremony, the eating disorder got worse than it had ever been in my life, and lasted like that for a year and a half before getting better and then disappearing for good.  At the time, I didn't have the context of what a healing fluctuation was, and so that year and half was terrifying.  I was sure I was hopeless, because ayahuasca had been my last resort.  After I healed, I took with me the powerful lesson that healing can come in waves, and a spike in symptoms can actually be a sign of deep healing.

Why it's hard for me to be calm during this spike is because I already have been going through a larger spike (on a larger time frame) of these symptoms ever since I intentionally began asking ayahuasca to help me with this issue  in Dec 2012.  I've taken this to be a good sign but at the same time have been getting exhausted - from the symptoms, and from the waiting game of wondering "when am I going to "pop"???).  Of course, I am also trying to put as little energy as possible in trying to figure everything out, instead just being present.  But either way, it's not easy and this past week has been incredibly difficult.

One positive thing that has come out of the past 3 weeks is that on one of the days I was feeling the worst, I experienced a temporary inner shift.  Something in me cracked - I just gave up.  I gave up resisting the symptoms, I gave up caring.  I honestly felt like I had no choice but to let go otherwise I was going to go crazy.  I didn't exactly feel happy, but there was something liberating about it, and felt like an important step for me.  I've always resonated and believed in the advice that in order to have something, sometimes you have to let go of wanting it.  There is no question that I have been desperately attached to recovering my health, and maybe this is the root of the problem.  The ego attachment.  It could be my imagination but I feel this shift was also the medicines at work within me.

Offline lightswitchedon

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I am experiencing a LOT of fluctuation in my symptoms over the last 3 weeks.  After my most recent session, I felt a temporary boost of energy/wellbeing for about a day, but over the past two days I have definitely swung the opposite direction.  Along with feeling like an emotional wreck - low stress tolerance, crying episodes, snapping at people - my physical symptoms have reappeared with vengeance.  I feel highstrung and unable to sleep, the fever and water retention and all other symptoms have come back.

Is this normal?  (lightswitchedon, is this what you call a "herx" reaction?)  My greatest fear along this journey is that the Kambo will not work for me, and it would really reassu2ring to hear that this is possibly a normal reaction to the treatments.  The fear and mental anguish over the possibility that Kambo is not working (given by the number of healing approaches I've tried and my exhaustion at this stage of the journey) is probably causing as much suffering than the symptoms themselves.

I for one wouldn't be qualified to tell you whether or not this is normal.  Hopefully someone else around here might have some insight.  As you are well aware, our individual health and circumstances are unique and thus healing repsonses and reactions are also going to be.  Wish I could be of some help because that sounds difficult, especially the insomnia...that is never fun.

When I say herx I am referring to the die-off of those nasty invading microbial critters, fungi and parasites that are living in the body that should not be, or at least should not be thriving.  When the immune system spikes, the infected areas are attacked and it can feel awful.  I was up most of the night after taking the kambo treatment with extreme tightness just below the chest, intense bowel inflammation/irritation and kicking legs.  The feeling of toxins flowing through the blood causing intense anxiety was also present.  This was the worst it has been in a long time, however it did not last any longer than through the night.  Since then I have been quite well and have regularly been seeing yeast and flukes come out (sorry for the imagery ;D).

The kambo has given a definite immune boost and this can mean slightly more anxiety for a while, at least in my case.  The toxins released during "die-off" pollute the bloodstream.  There are herbs and supplements that can help with this and coffee enemas also do the trick.

I can relate to the feeling of being attached to recovering health.  As I said in PM, it can become an obsession and I try to let go once in a while and do fun outdoor things or get together with people and forget about where I've come from and where I'm going.  Taking the hour or two before sunset and hiking to a quiet, serene spot to sit with pen and pad has also helped a lot.


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thanks for sharing Rainfruit. You're report was lovely. I'm sorry to hear you've been experiencing difficulties after a period of bliss. Unfortunately, I don't have much advice. I too would also recommend continuing with Kambo. Though I wouldn't force it, if you'd like a break. Ups and downs do occur and processes take place within us that we are not completely aware of. If you feel that being at home during the session is inhibiting your healing, perhaps try to find a place in nature again. I do Kambo sessions at home, and there can be a lot of negative energy in the house due to those I live with. Spaces can retain an energetic memory. I smudge myself and the rooms I use before and after my session with Palo Santo and Agua De Florida, maybe this added act of ceremony would help you. You could also, in a way, be purging the energy of the house. Your home is where you spend most of your time with your thoughts and energy, perhaps this generates an external energy that can affect you, or perhaps is just too bound in routine, perhaps of negative or reminding thoughts. Just a thought. Sending you good vibes for continued healing. Best regards.

Offline Rainfruit

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I am excited to report that a few days after my last post, the "fluctuations" evened out to a nice resting point that has stayed 100% consistent for the last two weeks.  And that resting point is a solid, tangible improvement from where I was before I started working with Kambo.  I am really, really happy about this!   :)

I feel like I still have a ways to go before I am completely through with healing this condition - I basically feel like I am at the very beginning of the journey.  I feel nervous about the challenges that lie ahead with my future kambo experiences, that almost cancels out the excitement and relief that I have found something that actually works - almost.

I also have been witnessing how the physical illness is only a symbol and reflection of the dysfunction in other areas of my life, and how misguided it is for me to focus so intently on physical healing as it is just a messenger.  It is a beacon, a lighthouse in the fog guiding me to the healing teachers that heal my entire life.

Over the past two weeks I have had some dramatic arguing with my mother.  I was at a 10-day family reunion and we were getting in major blow-ups almost every day.  We are very close and this was unusual for us.  It was old patterns coming up that I thought were resolved long ago.  While it was happening, part of me was confused as to why but I also strongly feel that the fighting was a sign that my mom is going through healing, too, because we are so closely connected.  We share a lot of the same energetic patterns, and we are both reacting to kambo's waves of change.  This is confirmed as each day goes by since the family reunion as we slowly patch up the devastation of the arguments.  My heart feels cracked open from the harshness of the experience and I know my mom's is too.  So much truth was spoken - it was spoken in anger but is still truth, and it can't be unheard.

In the last two weeks I have also been becoming aware of just how much I have been hiding aspects of who I am - my values - in order to fit or be accepted by others.  I have done this to varying extents my entire life and have always been aware of it, but am seeing it the current version now with a whole new clarity, a deep registering of how unnecessary and destructive it is.  Especially because I am seeing that these values are some of healthiest parts of me and could create change in the world if I shared them without fear of rejection.

So right now I am just really grateful and humble to Kambo.

Offline Rainfruit

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When I say herx I am referring to the die-off of those nasty invading microbial critters, fungi and parasites that are living in the body should not be, or at least should not be thriving.  When the immune system spikes, the infected areas are attacked and it can feel awful.  I was up most of the night after taking the kambo treatment with extreme tightness just below the chest, intense bowel inflammation/irritation and kicking legs.  The feeling of toxins flowing through the blood causing intense anxiety was also present.  This was the worst it has been in a long time, however it did not last any longer than through the night.  Since then I have been quite well and have regularly been seeing yeast and flukes come out (sorry for the imagery ;D).

Yes, ok, I know exactly what that is.  I have experienced that before from doing things like juice fasting and other kinds of detoxing, but nothing like what you are describing you went through.  Just minor symptoms.  What you described sounds awful!  Just interesting to see how differently kambo can be channeled.  I am fine with graphic talk of parasites btw.

And... Yes, I am on board with you about not getting too obsessed with the healing process.  Obsessively focusing on health issues seems to have a cyclical relationship with them, the obsession is just another symptom and I have definitely had it.  Another wonderful thing I have noticed in the past two weeks is the kambo seems to have removed some of that.

Glad you have those other alternatives as well.

Offline Rainfruit

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If you feel that being at home during the session is inhibiting your healing, perhaps try to find a place in nature again. I do Kambo sessions at home, and there can be a lot of negative energy in the house due to those I live with. Spaces can retain an energetic memory. I smudge myself and the rooms I use before and after my session with Palo Santo and Agua De Florida, maybe this added act of ceremony would help you. You could also, in a way, be purging the energy of the house. Your home is where you spend most of your time with your thoughts and energy, perhaps this generates an external energy that can affect you, or perhaps is just too bound in routine, perhaps of negative or reminding thoughts. Just a thought. Sending you good vibes for continued healing. Best regards.

Agree completely with you that dwellings and other physical locations hold energetic imprints that affect us on various levels (and can be cleared).  I have come to the realization that where I live is beyond smudging because the sources of the distracting energy are ongoing, and it's time for me to move.  I realized I don't want to live somewhere that is not suitable for deep healing sessions, because whatever unwanted energy is affecting the healing session is also present and affecting me 24/7 whether I feel it or not.  And I see now that the level at my current home is just too much.

Thank you for your other comments.  :)

Offline Rainfruit

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I am very grateful, a bit astonished.  The Kambo seems to be working continuously in my system - about a week ago my mental/ physical/ emotional health sprung to a distinct new level (I have not done any new Kambo sessions yet).  I feel like the clock is ticking backwards along the chronology of my current illness, and I feel the way I felt about 3 years ago during a much lesser stage of the illness's development.  It's wonderful.

I am also feeling a subtle phenomenon that is difficult to explain, but I will try.  It's like memories have been re-awoken, but instead of experiencing large, comprehensive "pieces" of memory (like images) I'm just experiencing memory "dust".  Like a sparkle of ecstatic familiarity over everything.  Visual stimuli especially triggers it - the color saturation of a flower petal, a sparkle in a droplet of water - and for a millisecond flash I'll see, with my mind's eye, through a window to a different time, place, and dimension.  And in the familiarity of the experience I am reminded of a distant and ancient part of myself.

There are many other small, positive shifts I am noticing in my being as well.

I definitely feel like it's time for the next Kambo session.

Right now just feeling really grateful.  Now I know, maybe just a fraction, why some of you say "Viva Kambo!"

Offline Rainfruit

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I finally was able to do another Kambo session yesterday.  It had been far over 28 days since my last.  Interestingly, on the night before the 28th day, I had a crystal clear HD dream that I was racing against the clock to do another kambo session.  This is the third time that kambo has used my dreams as a communication medium now.

I have also noticed that kambo has affected my overall dream quality as well, making my dreams much more linear and coherent, much less vague and surreal.  The visual quality of my dreams is also sharper and clearer.  I hope this is a reflection of my subconscious in some way.  :)

So over the last month of no kambo (a gap which was not intentional, just due to circumstance) I, for the most part, maintained the physical improvements of the last couple sessions.  I did notice my mental and emotional state begin to suffer towards the 3rd and 4th week - I had trouble processing the emotions of a sudden tragedy, and felt myself slightly slipping back into old bad habits:  procrastination, listlessness, overwhelm.  (I also noticed my dreams downgrading into cloudiness again.)

I was disappointed to have missed the 28-day window and had a hunch that this backtracked me a little bit in terms of progress, but decided to just look ahead.

I'm excited that the place I found to do the session yesterday is the perfect setting to do future sessions as well.  It is a breathtakingly beautiful spot in a redwood forest, completely private and secluded, a ground covered with soft needles.  No longer will I have to search for the right setting, or settle for doing sessions in chaos.  I also had a trusted friend join me, someone who will likely be a support in the future as well.

I chose to start out with 5 dots, not doing 7 only because I didn't know if going an entire month had increased my sensitivity again or not.  I was nervous again before application, but once the dots were on me and a few minutes into the initial rush, I felt a welling of affinity and gratitude for this medicine, so much that I wanted to sing in celebration.  I didn't know any songs, so I didn't but would like to learn some so I can next time.

5 dots turned out to be a bit too mild for what I know I needed, although I was grateful to be able to ease into things.  I can feel how much stronger my body has become since before my overall journey with Kambo began.  I let the session run its course, waited 30 minutes, then applied 7 nice-sized dots.  This is the most kambo I have applied as of yet, and the session was the most intense as well.

I purged a lot, maybe 10 times.  When I thought I was done, I decided to lean over and see if anything more would come out - then one last purge which took my last little bit of energy - thicker dark yellow, almost orange, liquid.  It was satisfying to see that come out despite not knowing exactly what it was.

I have been feeling well since the session - still integrating so it's too early to say what came of it.  But I feel grateful to be walking in step with this medicine again and basking in its subtle radiance.  I have noticed I don't feel too much of an afterglow this time, and I am actually happy about that.  I was worried while experiencing the first afterglow (after my very first sessions) that I might get addicted to kambo due to the afterglow feeling so amazing.  That worry was quickly quashed after I went through a series of challenging fluxes during integration - which ended up being so fruitful. 

I know I released a lot during the two applications, and I'm looking forward to my next application in which I will attempt 9 dots.  I know I have much further to go.

***

So far I have applied all of my dots on the inner calves (kidney meridian), but not with very much intention other than some basic principles Brett shared with me.  Legs for being further away from the heart and so therefore gentle - right leg being physical, left leg being mental/emotional (you guys have thoughts on this?).

I am ready to start exploring meridians with more intention and I'm grateful for the amount of information here on this forum to peruse through.  I know pretty much nothing as of yet and am excited to learn.