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Topics - n3ur0h@ck

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1
Herb Info and Use / Chaga mushrom (inonotus obliquus)
« on: June 14, 2017, 05:57:27 am »
I'm looking for a place to start a topic on the use of chaga mushroom and it's effects in the line of teacher/ healing plants. Though it's not entheogenic in any discernable way. But it's a very powerful healing agent and can possibly act in synergy with kambo and it's allies.

Been using it for a while now. It helps me recover when I'm totally fatigued. Along with diet and selfstudy it allows me to get out of it. However it has no clear teaching voice. What it does is take away the sickness. It makes me feel normal. Whenever things go for the better, I start to notice nausea accompanying drinking large quantities. Then it's time to stop consuming it. I followed up with kambo when this happened last time.

Still in the process of making a vodka extract of it. This is said to contain another spectrum of active ingredients. I'm curious as to what these will do, if noticable.

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Journals / Ordeals / kambo after 2 years
« on: June 09, 2017, 06:25:00 am »
Hi. For a long time I abstained from kambo, just over 2 years actually. 3 days ago I finally broke the ice and was really ecstatic because of that. Things are settling down now, but I still like to share some insights gained from it.

First of all I wasn't able to get this feeling, that it was okay to proceed with a session. All this time I was on the verge of doing it, but then aborting for I just was either too tired or noticed how I unconsciously sabotaged my attempt. This I didn't understand at first. However gradually I uncovered some subconscious issues that needed to be brought to light in order to get there.

It was like a a house that time after time just collapsed through a fault in the foundation. The house is your life, health and wellbeing. Each time I got it almost up, roofing it or wanting to start decorating or invite guests, whatever. The whole thing would collapse and I had to start all over. I found out the cause was foundation. Meaning, subconscious or unconscious issues that were preventing and sabotaging the effort. This continuous experience halted kambo and it was good to take a break for I would have wrecked things by carrying on.

What I found was a lot of debris related to ancestors or my own line of incarnations or whatever deposits might be there. Still not sure about all of it, but some things are very clear now. It took a lot of pain to be able to open eyes for these things. The most profound and lowest stone in the foundation proved to be a sort of cornerstone: phase 1 & 2 detoxification. It seems like my code says 'do not produce this enzyme through these and these amino acids' instead of 'produce it'. There are a lot of genes that code for detox enzymes and if you have this negation often you're left with little room for removing toxins. So they build up.

Kambo is ofcourse perfect for cleansing toxins, however the buildup wrecks the innate ability and if you can't address this. How are you able to cope with a harsh ride like kambo? I was tired all the time, still am often but things are getting better. What I gained was the knowledge to circumvent a lot of disability in detoxing through diet and practices. Last few I weeks I finally found the corner of this cornerstone and things sped up. So 3 days ago I felt confident that time had come for kambo.

I was a bit worried that 2 years might totally dissolve the link with the frog. That I would need to go somewhere to reinitiate myself. This proved to be nonsense.

Just 5 dots was all that it took. I had drank enough water, smudged and talked to my kambo stick for a long time. Basically covered the basic ritual. Within seconds I was vomiting. What a relief! To know that this response was still remembered was very nice. I can remember the first few times I couldn't puke. I did feel terrible and went through this phase were I wanted to renounce everything just because it all felt so bad. My puke looked good though, from light to dark green. No orange or darker colors. Took that as a good sign.

At the end I ran short of water but only a little and all in all it seemed good to cover all the needs before you start instead of having to force to drink during this ride.

What struck me was the distinct appearance of my unpolished raw and original personality. Like the root on which I cultivated all these refinements. They were blasted off and what remains was very familiar. It was back to the basics. Not entirely happy about that. However this is were I once started from, like the fool in tarot in a sense.

Another one was the psychedelic state that came after. Though not tripping as on psychedelics but this telltale immersement in the here and now which was very much like removing a schism that is normally present in waking state. The way things came in was just very different though I was still sober in way. A subtle psychedelic effect...

Last observation was this kind of heat. Through a lot of tai chi and yoga practice I've come to understand through feeling the yin/ yang - water/ fire - hot/ cold balance. There was sense of fieriness afterward. This was a bit rajasic in ayurvedic terms, where the kambo itself is very sattvic (bitter first, sweet afterward). I wondered if there are certain herbs to cool it down. Might be that aloe vera helps (by ingesting) I didn't try that it but will next time.

Was very tired afterward. I wanted to go for a sauna but had to wait. Just too much for one day. Things are getting better now. The insights gained over the past 2 years prove very helpful and I have the intention to re-establish a relationship with psychedelics sooner or later. Kambo has at least proved to be a very healthy tool and I will use it again soon I hope.

By the way. Does anyone care about lunar cycles with kambo use? I always have this feeling that it should between first quarter and full moon. That this is the proper time for it. But I am sceptical about the whole lunar influence thing. Am of the opinion the moon is an imposter trying to imitate the sun but is just a poor reflection of it. Like popular music is a poor imitation of real artistry. Another question is, what is the agenda of the frog? What does it want. It channels the forest through the insects and reflects amphibic consciousness, what does that bring out in us?

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The topic is not about the actual use of kambo but more about the background of why kambo is used and also how something like panema can be seen from other angles. It is based on personal experience, but accounts of actual facts have been left out and instead this focuses on the process and its outcomes.

Last year was my first without having continuous trouble from external sources. During this year I've been sorting out things, mostly from the past, for it obstructed the present. Through this sorting out I've come to know a few things.

During this year I've come to understand there is a deep seated source of conflict in me that in the past continuously resonated with ongoing trouble from external sources. It used to be the kind of situations that were just random and could happen to anyone. Yet I found myself in a continuous string of these kind of events. One after another and the only thing they had in common was that I was the recipient of the experience.

Put simply it was extreme bad luck. And it was precisely the kind of bad luck that upset me so terribly I found myself nothing short of a complete crisis on all levels. In effect there was no going back and till this day I feel strongly no stone has to be left unattended and each harbours a scorpion with it's own poison. They all strike, deliver and in effect have me transmute the venom.

Each time I did kambo this would initiate a relative peaceful period without any serious incidents. Some things were long lasting and did less damage, others were incidental and just kept at bay. Yet after a while the effect would wear off and the random bad luck recurring. I do not want to go into detail on the bad luck, stating experiences individually for this is just the kind of talk that will derail the whole topic. Instead I will take out some recurring string of events that had a definite cohesion through the randomness. For a long while I would run into the same person for days on end on different times and places. Just I am doing my business and suddenly there he or she is again. After a while it would stop, but not long for somebody else would take place and I run into that person in the same fashion. Of course some noticed and even accused me of stalking. All the while I did nothing whatsoever in that fashion, just seeing to my own amazement that these kind of rendezvous were possible. In the end I had to conclude that I was the one this was happening to and somehow it had to do with me...

Anyway I went through years of consistent bad luck and finally moved to a place where for a year now no serious incident has reached me. Instead I found myself attracting a lot of attention on the street. Basically people seek me out for conflict. And it are those that have led me to examine what in me that resonates so much with this. Basically I have a conflict of some degree. Each time I made a move to address something it would intensify for a while. So when I came to realize the conflict was there, for weeks I had nothing but encounters with bad tempered people on daily basis.

The next level was to take a look at the energies that fed this conflict. Though I can't be certain about anything in this regard, there are deep undercurrents that have nothing to do with me whatsoever but are the residual of my ancestors for example. Or they are emotions deposited by having to listen to my parents conflicts. At a certain point I do add some to the pocket, like emotions I never addressed myself. So to work on this angle I started writing down my experiences. Just tried to went through everything that happened and mostly about how I felt about it.

In a half year I wrote down a lot of storyline and reread it for finding out the emotional content and especially where I didn't want to look. So there I went deeper and tried to get into the emotions and process them. I'm still at this. But in the period I did manage to find some hidden context between the lines that not only served to see the conflict in a better light, but also get a grip on how it came to be that I found myself so attracted to series of random bad luck events.

First thing was that the conflict is based upon the tension between being in the world and not being allowed to be me. Put simply my ego is not allowed to exist and the physical existence of my body is tolerated but under serious tension as well. I've had some bad time in my early youth and unconsciously assumed that the way people treated me had to do with me, in other words it was my fault they didn't treat me well. Even more concise, I started to identify myself with their reflection in me, put simply cause I was not allowed to be myself. This way I could still adhere a bit to it, but on the other hand would technically not be me. So conflict flares up.

Now subsequently I started to take decision like 'I will never show my anger anymore' so that nobody could punish me for showing my anger. The same with grief 'I will never cry anymore' so nobody will have the opportunity to do harm this way. This decision I did remember more or less exact. The last was 'I shall never be happy' for I didn't want to give anyone the opportunity to wipe the smile of my face. And I have been true to my word. Crying can only occur after a serious beating or other painful incident and only very meager. Anger only comes when I have to be angry for some else's interest.

So this still does not provide a suitable narrative for handling the structural bad luck attraction. How on earth can all of this account for it? For all I know most of these things are very common and it won't stand in the way of love, luck or success anyway. You can be perfectly successful and never look back at the shit in your youth. But for me it was another step on the way. A few weeks ago a new door opened.

Basically I reread and rewrote some of my experiences and found that whatever I wanted to view it, it stayed impossible to find any meaning in it. In came down to the fact I had some trouble due to someone else and I couldn't accept it, change it or go away from it. I did all in my power and it didn't change anything. Whenever I went somewhere the energy of this situation was still with me and attracted something similar. Accepting it was like choosing to corrupt yourself. I was stuck on it for a long time. Finally it dawned on me that on the surface I was trying to fight it, but what I was really fighting was my unwillingness to accept that there was nothing whatsoever to be done about it. Deep down I felt terribly powerless and knowing that was being the victim of this. But would not, could not and should not accept it anyhow. It was a big no no.

In light of this a narrative framed itself. Namely that at the core of my personality is identification with something that does not belong there, but has been there from the beginning. That way I've misunderstood it as a part of me and unconsciously assimilated it and grew my personality from that assimilation. From the start it has caused conflict on the issue of being and been allowed to, cause it is not allowed to be. It is a invalid intruder in my system. An alien, the other, whatever you want to call it. It has upset the relation of self and other in such a way that I cannot and shall not be for I am identified with what is other in me. This intruder fights for survival but only in time, for it cannot exists in the now. It resonates with all that keeps you out of the now and opens all gates to sent out subliminal messages to attract more of it's like.

The easiest way to state it is using a computer analogy. Imagine a computer that while it's being build is infected with a virus. When the OS is formed it mistakes this virus as it's own components, but the anti virus program knows all along and tells the rest of the OS that this component is invalid, a virus and has no right to be there at all. But the OS as a whole conflicts on this, cause it has identified itself with this component and if this component is invalid then the whole is invalid as well. So hence the conflict. In the meantime the virus opens all ports and continuously sends out messages to attract intruders.

With this narrative I can address the random bad luck in such a way that it makes sense. It shows that there is a way to the root cause and that permanent dissolution is possible. Though it might never leave the system, it can be rendered inert or reversed that it no longer is the enemy but becomes a guardian. How this plays out is still to come.

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Precautions / Protection for yourself when gving kambo to someone else
« on: September 09, 2014, 10:51:52 am »
Last weekend I got a call from a friend who wanted the frog asap. So I answered and gave him a dose. It was my 3rd time giving to other people.

I did a personal ritual to empower my capacity for administrating kambo by calling the frog spirit's guidance. But when it came to it I noticed a certain openness to the energies being purged. I would like to close myself off to this, this purged energy does not concern me as it isn't my energy to begin with.

However I am very open to energies and have learned that I take on energies from the outside and this is a very big issue in almost all aspects for me. So protection is very important. If I am to be able to give kambo I need to be able to close off.

I want to ask you how to protect yourself when giving someone kambo...

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Hi all,

I've been homebound for about 10 months now due to a bad foot. It happened whilst running in a forest. I made a bad step and hurt my foot. Since then it's been very painful to walk and there's something inside the foot that is not really okay. By now I know it's not the bones, but probably with the ligaments and possibly cartilage tissue. The hospital despite their expensive equipment and so called 'doctors' were unable to give me any kind of diagnosis or treatment. So I'm looking for another way now. How could I use kambo for this? Should it be applied directly on the spot for example, or find the meridians that go through the spot or any other way of treating this?

Next to that I've been going on with a shoulder impingement for more than 3 years now. Despite my efforts not to use this shoulder in any way, it just won't go away. It's not infected but there is a inflammation going on. Basically it just hurts all the time and after 3 years and one therapist after the other I'm a bit out of ideas how to fix this. I did apply kambo directly on the spot but it made no difference at all. Somehow this shoulder won't come out of being inflammated or something, I really don't know anymore. Has anyone a idea how to treat this?

I would gladly come to know some suggestion as I'm increasingly more disturbed by the non healing of these issues... Thank you.

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General Discussion / Conditions for healing and it being granted
« on: November 18, 2013, 06:23:04 am »
Hi there,

I am going over a question for a while now and it's a difficult one. Basically I'm asking 'what if healing is not granted?'.

There are things anyone can do to set the conditions right for healing. Giving yourself the time, space and rest to set things in motion are three of the most profane things one can do.

But there are things that can show up during this period. These can be anything, but basically anything that disturbs the conditions in which healing can take place.

As to the time, urgent things can pop up - like a family member that urgently needs some help.

With the space: there can be unexpected disturbances from outside, like extreme noises from construction or bad tempered neighbours.

And the rest, when either the time or space condition is disturbed, the rest will be disturbed as well. But there can also be disturbances from within. Theses from within are often part of the healing process, but when disturbed from the outside they can be very detrimental to the effort.

So it comes down to yourself creating that opportunity to let things happen. And the outside that keeps major disturbances away. In a way these are mixed, cause from a deep spiritual perspective the inner worlds and outer settings are connected, so any decision from the inside resonates with that it meets from the outside.

Now from what I gather, there is a sort of grantedness to all of this. When you set conditions right and stick to the protocol of getting healed, that is just part of the deal. Another part comes from that it is 'granted', for lack of better understanding of this matter I put it this way.

I imagine a sort of scale. On the one side is healing and getting better, on the other is detrimental effort and slipping away. So setting things right and sticking to the protocol, this scale can topple from the one side to the other. In the middle is a kind of dead moment and getting over that requires a lot of effort and some luck. It's the hardest part, the moment when you feel stuck and need to pull the deepest of yourseld.

So being in the process of this, one moment you feel the scale has slightly toppled and you're on the right side. It's a relief to be over the dead point, even if the healing is very slow and this point. Then something unexpected happens out of the blue, and in such a way that this is precisely just that what make the scale tip over to the other side again. So you're basically back to square one overnight.

When this happens more than a few times, the idea and feeling of not being granted to heal takes hold. How to deal with this? And what are your thoughts on this.

Thanks in advance.



7
Journals / Ordeals / Journey to find some healing
« on: October 08, 2013, 09:46:01 am »
Hello people, I've been on this forum before and am trying to find some help and or advice. I'm in the middle of a very deep process and have a lot of trouble with it. Doing Kambo is part of the treatment, but there's a lot more and I got the feeling I might find some people here who have gone through similar ordeals or are facing them right now.

Basically I can't ground. It's from the physical level up. My joints won't fit that well and in time this has created a twist in my body and get's worse all the time. I'm in pain from the moment I arise each day till I go to sleep. Each time I adjust my body to find some relief I'm only making it worse. This then causes the not being able to ground. The problem has been with me since birth, it's embedded in my genes.

On other levels things get stuck all the time. To be plainly blunt, I've never been able to achieve anything wordly and am always struggling to keep my head above the waves. Just like when I try to find relief for my body it makes it worse, so to on the other levels: each time I try to find a way to get out or over it, things get worse.  Also there is something vexing about all this: each time I find some healer that can do something, getting there proves an ordeal itself. Somehow I have a knack for choosing my path so that it always present unexpected obstacles that prevent from getting there. It's only with the utmost effort I am able to make it - sometimes -. So I feel healing is not really granted, but I don't understand why.

When I let it be and take the pain it's so overwhelming I will make it worse as well. The only relief I have is keep moving on all levels. This has exhausted me so much that right now my body won't even heal itself anymore. It's partly due to this vexing: I am never in peace at home, neighbours, insects, heavy construction - you name it. For years the one succeeded the other and right now for the first time I am having a month of rest. But after this month a new construction project will start and this will mean heavy drills and the like. Meanwhile I can't find a place to go... So problems have been stacking over the years and right I now it's black/ white: either I find a way or perish.

So I do my own kambo treatments and what else. I prefer it this way. My experience with group sessions, like ayahuasca have been such torments. The time that I still feel every day is the one I attended an amazonian shaman and experienced so much pain, but at the same time couldn't cry out anymore or call for help. For 8 hours straight I laid contorting and moaning, no one even took a look. So I rather do my own sessions, however I feel like this won't help me either.

I am in urgent need I feel and well am going to post some things here in the hope to find some help or advice.

Right now I have a question: there is a spot on my left shoulder, slightly below the blade near the spine, where the muscles have hardened and these need to be loosened. Is kambo an option there?

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General Discussion / Lippia Multiflora Chevalier
« on: May 11, 2013, 11:50:47 am »
This plant grows in West Afrika and is known as 'the healer herb'. It leaves are used for tea and contains a lot of aromatic compounds.

Basically it makes you piss a lot. It's said to be beneficial for the gums. Also it has anti-microbial properties. In a nutshell, the worse you are the better it makes you feel.

It has a great taste and when large quantities are ingested, it makes one feel very nice. I tell people it's herbal coke when they see the beverage I make.

Does anyone know more about this plant? I have been drinking for some years now. Lucky, I know a local importer where to buy it.

My interest now is if it can be used for enema's.

http://www.sisline-thee.nl/ * sorry for non-dutch people

http://www.african-essentials.com/produkten/teagarden/eng-savanne-index.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9850819




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Energy Cleansing (Treatment for "Panema") / What is panema?
« on: May 01, 2013, 08:57:10 am »
Hi, I want to start a topic on this. Basically the idea is to let people post their ideas on what panema is, in general and specifically to oneself. So please post your view on this.

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Introductions / hallo kambo
« on: April 23, 2013, 05:29:43 pm »
Hi there,

I'm from the Netherlands. 30 years old and male.

Since late 2011 I've been working with Kambo. Learned it from a friend and then started doing it myself. Took it slow, first a few times to get to know the effect. Then with Ayahuasca and recently with Iboga.

My skills are with yoga, tai ji and meditation. The asian tradition. Though I have no pretensions whatsoever. I just do what I know and can. I'm not a teacher, just a student (though I've been teaching for a while).
Also I know how to do Yi Jing and have understanding into western esotericism. I studied philosophy.

What I do have to mention in this introduction is why I am deepening my knowledge and experience with kambo.

I'm a severe case of panema. Born with it. It's my ability to remain afoot in most severe storms that granted me to get this far. But as I grow older, this panema worsens.
Don't think going into detail serves any purpose here. Just know that I just had 2 days of Kambo in the morning and still feel like I need more. Last week was the most severe trial I've been through thusfar. It almost had me.

The more I get to understand this panema, the more I am in need of skilled people for help. So if you people here need a challange, here I am  :P. Just know that I already have what it takes, else I wouldn't be here in the first place.

Last to mention, especially for some familiar faces: I am also on a Iboga forum on another name.

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