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Journals / Ordeals / Re: Kambo Diary - Chronic Lyme Disease
« on: March 22, 2016, 07:32:22 PM »
Sixth experience.
This morning.
I hadn't been definite on doing kambo in advance of waking this morning. But when I woke I knew I needed to do it.
I had no sense of desire to do kambo. But I felt that it was right.
As I was expressing my intention to sapo, I realized that I was afraid that the only way to fulfill my intention would be to kill me. I asked sapo not to kill me, but to find another way to help with my intention - to be fully alive instead of half dead.
I decided to do 8 points. I burned 8 points. I made 8 dots.
I drank most of 2 liters of water. I decided to try "layering" the kambo by applying several points and waiting for blood pressure to begin to drop and then applying more.
I applied the first 3.
My heart rate increased and began to drop after a minute or several minutes. I applied several more dots, but I didn't notice any increase in heart rate after that.
I applied 6 dots in total.
I felt more nauseous than usual. And fainter than usual - though not quite as bad as the first kambo experience.
I felt pretty terrible for longer than usual - not sure exactly how much time passed. Could have been 5 minutes could have been 20.
Used my fingers to bring on the purge. I purged with more difficultly than usual. And after maybe 10 purges and more water I felt done - couldn't seem to purge more - but no yellow purge had occurred.
Afterward I removed the dots and lay down and slept for a short while.
On waking I felt tired still. Not great, not terrible.
Heel pain more pronounced than has been. But slightly less irritable than I was before.
I also should mention that I'm doing bee venom therapy with live bee stings every other day. I had planned last week to alternate bee sting days and kambo days. But obviously I didn't keep up with kambo on that schedule. I think it was too intense.
Also want to note that I've been thinking that kappa opioid upregulation (or whatever that may mean in reality) may be a possible factor in my life and symptoms. The only two things I've found that seem like reliable and likely medicines for that are salvia divinorum and iboga.
Frustratingly, iboga is illegal where I live. I am only interested in microdosing - not a flood. So I've been looking into salvia. I have tried salvia on two occasions in the somewhat distant past. Salvia is legal where I live, but even the seemingly reputable online vendors seem to be unresponsive. Frustrating. As with iboga, my interest in salvia is also sub-dissociative. I am interested in seeing if the "kappa agonism" is therapeutic.
This morning.
I hadn't been definite on doing kambo in advance of waking this morning. But when I woke I knew I needed to do it.
I had no sense of desire to do kambo. But I felt that it was right.
As I was expressing my intention to sapo, I realized that I was afraid that the only way to fulfill my intention would be to kill me. I asked sapo not to kill me, but to find another way to help with my intention - to be fully alive instead of half dead.
I decided to do 8 points. I burned 8 points. I made 8 dots.
I drank most of 2 liters of water. I decided to try "layering" the kambo by applying several points and waiting for blood pressure to begin to drop and then applying more.
I applied the first 3.
My heart rate increased and began to drop after a minute or several minutes. I applied several more dots, but I didn't notice any increase in heart rate after that.
I applied 6 dots in total.
I felt more nauseous than usual. And fainter than usual - though not quite as bad as the first kambo experience.
I felt pretty terrible for longer than usual - not sure exactly how much time passed. Could have been 5 minutes could have been 20.
Used my fingers to bring on the purge. I purged with more difficultly than usual. And after maybe 10 purges and more water I felt done - couldn't seem to purge more - but no yellow purge had occurred.
Afterward I removed the dots and lay down and slept for a short while.
On waking I felt tired still. Not great, not terrible.
Heel pain more pronounced than has been. But slightly less irritable than I was before.
I also should mention that I'm doing bee venom therapy with live bee stings every other day. I had planned last week to alternate bee sting days and kambo days. But obviously I didn't keep up with kambo on that schedule. I think it was too intense.
Also want to note that I've been thinking that kappa opioid upregulation (or whatever that may mean in reality) may be a possible factor in my life and symptoms. The only two things I've found that seem like reliable and likely medicines for that are salvia divinorum and iboga.
Frustratingly, iboga is illegal where I live. I am only interested in microdosing - not a flood. So I've been looking into salvia. I have tried salvia on two occasions in the somewhat distant past. Salvia is legal where I live, but even the seemingly reputable online vendors seem to be unresponsive. Frustrating. As with iboga, my interest in salvia is also sub-dissociative. I am interested in seeing if the "kappa agonism" is therapeutic.