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Journals / Ordeals / Re: 1 week whole
« on: June 06, 2015, 06:18:31 PM »
Thank you for you replies caiano and macaco,
I am not using kambo right know and feeling quite good. I can just hope that my efforts of trusting people around me will "open my heart" more.
I really hope so, but to be honest, I am already seeing results. But maybe its just me getting my shit together. I'll see.
To macaco, I know exactly what you are talking about. The problem for me right now is, that I am doing things for a complete other purpose. I am doing things to feel good, or make others feel good. Which will in turn make me also feel good. If I am in a good mood I do things to strengthen my feeling or keeping it.
But in the week I was preveously talking about, I just did the things. My actions were not bound to an outcome. And realising this actually makes me feel a little bit disgusted. Cause I am basically just using people around me (not with intention of course). My feelings were just my feelings. I could concentrate on achieving things or just doing what I wanted.
But I dont think mimicking the actions which I think are the ones I really want to do in this mindset will eventually lead me into my desired state. Cause it is not a thought which is missing me, or some learned behaviour. I cant describe it. It is something different. But that might just be the fear or sloth or whatever speaking out of me.
Thank you
I am not using kambo right know and feeling quite good. I can just hope that my efforts of trusting people around me will "open my heart" more.
I really hope so, but to be honest, I am already seeing results. But maybe its just me getting my shit together. I'll see.
To macaco, I know exactly what you are talking about. The problem for me right now is, that I am doing things for a complete other purpose. I am doing things to feel good, or make others feel good. Which will in turn make me also feel good. If I am in a good mood I do things to strengthen my feeling or keeping it.
But in the week I was preveously talking about, I just did the things. My actions were not bound to an outcome. And realising this actually makes me feel a little bit disgusted. Cause I am basically just using people around me (not with intention of course). My feelings were just my feelings. I could concentrate on achieving things or just doing what I wanted.
But I dont think mimicking the actions which I think are the ones I really want to do in this mindset will eventually lead me into my desired state. Cause it is not a thought which is missing me, or some learned behaviour. I cant describe it. It is something different. But that might just be the fear or sloth or whatever speaking out of me.
Thank you