When this happens more than a few times, the idea and feeling of not being granted to heal takes hold. How to deal with this? And what are your thoughts on this.
I find this such a mature post and applaud you writing it to disclose some thoughts around your process and how it is very relevant to others. I've had amazing healing ceremonies where everything went right and the rewards were rather infinite in grace and gratitude for life, then (more often than not it seems) I have the ceremonies where not everything goes just right and there are 'wobbly' moments that effect the results. The best qualities I can think to cultivate is organization along with the details of cleanliness of environment (inner and outer), being in healthy relationships and if not doing what is necessary before hand to admit your part in the disturbance, and being especially prepared in the ways of meditation and thought process.
When things don't go all right I totally admit I have a brush of losing faith a bit of depression over my goals and a an overall questioning of my life path. But so far despite these minor and sometimes major doubts I feel the need to be committed to this very alternative path and the unknown harvests that will be due at some point. I think being in a path like this is almost like investing in them. I understand what your talking about and I apologize that my words are not precise enough.