Today I pushed the boundaries of my kambo experience to date. Just want to share.
I would say I'm relatively experienced with the frog medicine. Have taken kambo 50+ times, maybe more.
The most I've taken so far has been 2x9 dots straight after a 12 h ayahuasca ceremony. This was extremely intense, after nine dots and rapé I still couldn't purge, so the shaman (that knows me pretty well) just rubbed the old dots off and gave me nine more. It's the only time to date I've lost control over my bodily functions...
For the past years I have been taking kambo on my own. I find the medicine hits much harder when you're administering it yourself. Having someone hold the space is indeed a relief. My regular dosage is thirteen dots (2-3 mm in diameter) but today I received a new batch of medicine and decided to test it out thoroughly.
As usual, I started by locking down the house, emptying my bowels, cleaning the space. Took a large dose of rapé, both my home made and a strong variety from the Yawanawa, immediately followed by a few drops of becchete (sanangas milder cousin) to each eye. Did my regular smudging and blessing, voiced a short prayer inviting the appropriate powers and got to burning fifteen holes in my shin. Quickly downed two litres of water and applied the poison.
The medicine acted fast, as always. I was knocked out within a few minutes. Half lying on the floor I barely managed to get my bucket. Purged intensely. Remember thinking "Lord it's strong". Felt my intestines contracting. Purging through the back door is extremely unusual for me, whether with aya or kambo, so I knew I was in for a really intense ride. Dragged the bucket behind me to the bathroom. Sat down hard and purged. My heart was beating extremely hard and fast. I was drenched in sweat. There was a high pitched whine in my ears and my vision was gradually getting fuzzier and darker. I realised I was about to faint.
Not much wanting to slump to the floor mid-shit with a bucket of vomit in my lap, I strained to stay conscious. Focused on my breath, repeating "stay with it!" inside my head. I was getting visions now, something very rare for me with kambo. They didn't make much sense, snippets of conversations with someone, snapshots of tools and then briefly a gorgeous multicoloured kambo frog. I managed to wipe, then fell to the bathroom floor. Stayed there for who knows how long. My mind was clear enough to realise I hadn't gotten any bile up as of yet, something I find to be a real challenge.
I was slowly coming back and found the strength to bring the bucket with me back to my living room. Drank some more water, shoved two fingers down my throat and vomited up more bile than I ever have before. The taste was a truly awful, intensely bitter liquorice. Finally done, I scraped off the dots and staggered to bed. Woke up two hours later feeling drained but calmly focused. Smudged myself, thanked the powers that be and closed the space.
It's surprising that a mere two extra dots can have such a profound effect. This was right at the edge of what I could handle. Awe inspiring, powerful and beautiful. But hardly pleasant...
